Dealing with Fear
by BlackFox12
Summary: My Bloody Valentine. AU. After Harry is shot, instead of leaving the town, Tom goes to find Sarah


**Dealing with Fear**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from My Bloody Valentine and I'm not making any money from this fic

**Summary:** AU. After Harry is shot, instead of leaving the town, Tom goes to find Sarah

**Warning(s):** Strong violence; spoilers for the film; spanking

**Author's Note:** This idea played around inside my mind as a 'what if' scenario. Basically, it's an AU – only the events from the first part of the movie, up until Harry is shot in front of Tom, have happened in this fic

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Back at his house, Tom washed the blood off his face and stared at the mirror. His eyes were too wide; and his face was pale. Now that the blood was gone, there was nothing to show that he'd had someone shot in front of him. Harry was gone... and with him, the last traces of what Tom had done.

But his feelings of guilt were still there. It had been an honest mistake, but left a whole group of miners dead – not to mention all of those who were at the party. He wanted to leave, but surely he couldn't just run away from what had happened. He had to stay and face up to it, even if people ultimately blamed him for what had happened.

Tom's father was downstairs, having finished talking to the Sherriff. Tom had gone straight upstairs without speaking to his dad, and gone into the bathroom to wash all of the blood off his face. And this was where he was now; staring at his reflection and trying not to see the insane killer with the pickaxe.

But somehow, he had the feeling that Harry would be there every time he closed his eyes; chasing him through his dreams. What had he done? It didn't matter that it was an accident... He blamed himself, so it wouldn't be long before the rest of them did as well. He didn't know how many Harry had killed, but he would always see them as well. He didn't even know the names of most of the students – but he'd find out; if only because they deserved to have someone remember them.

A moment later, Tom heard the doorbell sound. He straightened up and wiped his face dry, wondering who was calling round. Someone to voice how the townspeople blamed him? Axel, perhaps?

Walking over to the bathroom door, Tom could hear his father talking to someone in hushed tones. Then, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs; footsteps that were too loud to belong to his dad. Stumbling back, he forgot where he was for a few moments, imagining that he was back in the mine with Harry about to kill him for forgetting to bleed the lines.

And then someone knocked softly on the door, and Sarah's voice called softly, "Tom? Are you in there?"

More than anything, Tom wanted to keep silent. He didn't want to talk to anyone; didn't want to see the accusation that he knew would be in their eyes. But a part of him was desperate to hear a friendly voice; to find someone who didn't hate him. And so he answered before he could stop himself. "Come in. It's not locked."

Slowly, the door was pushed open, and Sarah stood there, looking at him sadly. "Tom." She took a step towards him.

Instantly, Tom moved back and away from her. "No... Please don't."

Sarah stopped and lowered her head. "I'm sorry, I just..." She took a deep breath. "I wouldn't have left you. Axel held me back, and then there was the pickaxe through the windshield, and... I was scared, Tom," she said, her voice pleading. "I didn't want to leave, but I'd seen two of my friends die. I'm so glad you're all right," she whispered.

Tom blinked, staring at her. It took him about a minute to realise just what she'd said. She was apologising for leaving him? "It was my fault..."

"No, it wasn't." Sarah stepped closer to him, and when he didn't back away, she wrapped her arms around him. "It wasn't your fault, Tom. You made a mistake... Whatever happened to Harry, it was only a matter of time before he'd have snapped."

"Those miners are dead because I forgot to bleed the lines. And because of that, I'm ultimately responsible for what he did at the party..." Tom wanted to pull away from Sarah, but he needed the contact. Closing his eyes, he crushed his girlfriend tightly to him. "I should go," he whispered.

"Please don't... Please don't leave me."

Tom took a slight breath and opened his eyes again. "I'm not going to leave you." He knew he was going to have to face up to what had happened. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if he ran away.

Sarah nodded slightly, and then took a step back so that she could look into his eyes. "I think you should punish me, Tom. I should have tried harder to come and help you. We could have hit Harry with the car or _something_." She looked pleadingly at him when he hesitated. "Please, Tom. It's what I need."

Tom really wasn't sure, but he couldn't ignore the pleading in Sarah's voice. They'd played at spanking games before, but never had an actual punishment session. However, he knew that that was what Sarah was asking for. Without a word, he took hold of her wrist and led her out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. When he sat down on his bed and drew Sarah in front of him, she flinched but didn't argue.

"I'm not punishing you because you left me," Tom said, the words coming from somewhere inside of him. "You shouldn't feel guilty because of that – but I'm punishing you to try and help you get over your guilt and forgive yourself." At least this was giving him something else to focus on. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Sarah's skirt and eased it down, helping her to step out of it. He then pulled Sarah's knickers down.

"Does it have to be on the bare?"

Tom considered her for a few moments. Then, he nodded. "Yes, it does." He pulled her over his knees and settled her there. "You know this won't be like before. You wanted punishment, and that's what you're getting." Without waiting for a reply, he raised his hand and brought it down hard on Sarah's behind.

Gasping, Sarah kicked her legs a little. Tom paused a moment to admire the handprint, and then gave her another on her other cheek. He looped his arm around her waist to pull her close against his body as he continued to swat her both hard and fast.

It didn't take long for Sarah to start crying. Tom tipped her further over his lap so that he could get access to her sit spots, and that further increased her crying. He didn't stop the spanking, though, until Sarah was lying limp across his knees, sobbing hard. And then he stopped, and lightly rested his hand on her back, rubbing gently. "It's all right. It's all over now." He pulled her up and into his arm, hugging her tightly.

Sarah leaned her head against his shoulder and just sobbed, holding onto him with all the strength she had.

**The End**


End file.
